A Belated Comment on Lady Gaga's Meat Dress

[Click on this image for a larger version]

Lady Gaga created quite a stir by wearing a meat dress to the MTV VMA awards, but here at Fashion Sense we're not sure that's any more disgusting than eating meat is. [The text reads: 'Kiki called me this morning and said, “OMG, did you see the MTV VMAs?” and I was a little too groggy to handle all that alphabet soup, and I just said, “Huh?” and she said, “Gaga!” and that wasn’t any clearer, and she said, “She wore a meat dress,” and I said, “What kind of meat?” and she said, “What difference does it make? It was a dress. Made of meat. And she had a hat and purse to match. And the shoes were the worst of all,” and I said, “Lady Gaga wore a meat bikini before so it’s not such a new thing,” and she said, “Ellen asked her about it on her show after the awards, and Gaga said something incoherent about no offense to veg*ns but she wanted to protest Don’t Ask Don’t Tell being unfair to gays in the military,” and I said, “You know Ellen is gay and a vegan,” and Kiki said, “I know, and she was offended, but I thought you would be way more outraged than you are since you’re always going on about meat and you take care of that strange goose to keep him from being dinner,” and I said, “My goose isn’t strange,” and she said, “I guess you’re the strange one. I expected at least some reaction to Gaga’s antics,” and I said, “Maybe it’s because I’m depressed,” and she said, “About what?” and I said, “About the war and torture and tea party fascism and racism and oil in the Gulf and mountaintops being blown off and factory farming, so what Lady Gaga wears to the MTV VMAs seems pretty insignifcant,” and she said, “PETA was outraged,” and I said, “That’s their job,” and she said, “So you don’t think it’s disgusting for somebody to wear meat?” and I said, “Let’s put it this way. It’s no more disgusting for somebody to wear meat than it is for them to eat it,” and she said, “I’m going to go share my gossip with somebody who will really appreciate it,” and she hung up, and the goose and I went back to sleep for another hour.']

What Inquiring Minds Really Want to Know

[Click on image for a larger version]

Chelsea Clinton's recent wedding was covered as well as an event with top security could be, but there are extraordinary events that we aren't getting enough information about, like the war in Afghanistan and the aftermath of the BP oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. [The text reads: 'My not-so-favorite cousin Madison and I went for a boat ride in the park, and  she said, “Doesn’t this park remind you of the place where Chelsea Clinton got married?” and I said, “I didn’t pay much attention to the wedding,” and she said, “OMG, didn’t you see her dresses? I mean, she had two by Vera Wang, one for the wedding and one for the reception, and they were both absolutely to die for,” and I said, “I guess I wasn’t that interested,” and she said, “Why not? I mean it was almost as fabulous as a royal wedding (although, to be fair and balanced, if Levi would ever actually marry Bristol Palin, that would be an amazing if sort-of-shotgun wedding, too). Plus I thought sure you’d want to see her vegan cake,” and I said, “There are things we need to know about that we don’t know enough about, and things we don’t need to know about that we know too much about,” and she said, “Now you sound like Donald Rumsfeld,” and I said, “What I mean is that for things like the situation in Afghanistan and the BP oil catastrophe, it takes a WikiLeak to give the full story about one and grumbling fishermen to give a full picture of the other, and yet we know every single detail about Chelsea’s dress whether we need to know or not--and by the way, her cake wasn’t vegan,” and she said, “I thought you said you weren’t paying attention! Even your inquiring mind wants to know,” and I said, “People also want to know about Afghanistan and the Gulf of Mexico, but too many journalists are embedded with the military and/or BP and don’t tell us the truth,” and she said, “However, we do know that Chelsea is currently embedded with Marc, so we have some consolation,” and I said, “I’m serious, Madison. I can’t answer the questions my fish keep asking about the toxic effects of dispersants because there just isn’t enough information, but there’s an endless supply of wedding trivia,” and she said, “Well, I for one appreciated the pomp and beauty of a royal wedding, I mean a celebrity wedding, I mean a wedding of the daughter of a former president and the current secretary of state, and you can’t take that away from me with your negativity,” and I said, “I don’t want to. It’s the funerals, not the weddings, that I’m worried about,” and she just sighed and started paddling as hard as she could toward shore.']

Fashion Sense Opposes Arizona SB 1070

[Click on the image for a larger version]

Unlike the Alice featured in this Fashion Sense piece, I do live in Arizona. Our legislature has been producing some remarkably hateful laws recently, particularly SB 1070, which would result in racial profiling and other racist treatment for Latinos in our state. Here at Fashion Sense we oppose Arizona SB 1070! [Click on the image for a larger version. The text reads: "I’m a dedicated knitter, and I have been ever since I found out how much Julia Roberts loves to knit, and I belong to the  Mind Your Knitting knitters’ group, and we take a Spa-cation together in Phoenix every summer because the prices are low when it’s hellishly hot there, but this year I read a lot about SB 1070,  the anti- immigrant law that was passed in Arizona that encourages racial profiling, so I thought our group should join in the boycott, and on my suggestion we took a vote and decided not to go to Phoenix, and my neighbor, who is also in the group, was  furious at me, and this morning she came to my door, and my tortoise hid in his shell and left me alone to deal with her, and the first thing she said was, “You know I was looking forward to my Spa-cation, which I would be packing for right now if it wasn’t for you,” and I said, “Arizona lawmakers are spewing hateful laws like the BP oil well has been spewing crude into the Gulf and we should oppose them,” and she said, “We could write them a letter,” and I said, “That would work about as well as BP’s first top hat and the junk shots they tossed into the well -- which is to say it wouldn’t,” and she said, “Well, you boycotters haven’t been too effective because a bunch of other states are passing similar laws,” and I said, “I agree. Boycotts are like the cap BP’s testing now and the relief well they’re drilling -- not a permanent solution,” and she said, “Doesn’t the name of our group, Mind Your Knitting, mean anything to you? It’s none of your business what the Arizona legislature does because you don’t live there, and it’s none of your business how BP caps its well because you’re not an engineer,” and I said, “That’s like saying it’s none of my business that there’s an oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico because I’m not a sea turtle,” and my tortoise finally came out of his shell, and I said, “Go ahead and tell her about all those sea turtles that were burned alive during the oil clean-up, and why letters aren’t enough,” but he remained stubbornly silent, and my neighbor said, “Honey, you need help,” and I said, “Oh, mind your knitting!” and now the tortoise and I are taking a walk to calm down, although I’m still mad at him for not being willing to stick his neck out to show some solidarity with me."]

Fashion Sense Looks at Our Love for Betty White

[Click on the image to see a larger version]

Everyone loves Betty White right now, and she justly deserves all the attention for her great comedic timing and feisty personality. But maybe there's a little something else behind all the adulation. [Click on the image for a larger version of this piece. The text reads: 'One of my petsitting clients is my friend Jennifer, and she has a lot of rescued animals, and I just stayed overnight at her house so she could go visit her mother, and I admit it was a challenge taking care of 3 dogs, 5 cats, 4 horses, 2 macaws, a llama and a geriatric iguana, and when Jennifer got home she complained about having a big fight with her mother over having so many animals and not getting married and having kids, and then she asked how things had been while she was away, and I didn’t want to tell her about the fact that her mother had called and talked to me about why Jennifer had so many “pets,” so I just said everything was fine, and then she said, “And my mother kept going on and on about how old she is and how old she feels and how she isn’t getting any younger and neither am I, and my biological clock is running out, and now I feel really old,” and since Jennifer is my age I felt compelled to say, “Oh, come on, you’re not old, and  you look great. When I feel old I remind myself that there are people like Bette White, who is wildly popular right now with a hit show and is funny and cool, and she outdid all the other talent on Saturday Night Live, and they say she’s the best thing about Hot in Cleveland, and she’s nearly 90,” and she said, “She just gets all that adulation because she’s going to die soon! And people feel like they have to give her one last present of their love and admiration because she’s not long for this world, and she reminds them of their mother and grandmother and great-grandmother that they’ve disappointed and not been able to please no matter how hard they try,” and she was talking louder and louder and in a higher and higher-pitched voice and seemed like she was hyperventilating, and I said, “Take it easy Jennifer. None of us can ever really please our parents, but I’m sure your mother’s very proud of you” and just then her mother called again, and as I walked away with a couple of the dogs to give her some privacy, I heard her say, “No, I don’t expect you to think of an iguana as your grandchild!”']

Fashion Sense Comments on the Gulf Oil Spill

[Click on the image to see a larger version]

The Deepwater Horizon rig keeps spewing oil into the Gulf, and the failure of the Minerals Management Service to regulate big oil has been brought into sharp focus. You remember the MMS. They're the ones that were involved in the 2008 scandal, caught partying with oil company executives. [Click on the image for a larger version. The text reads: 'While out birding today, I met this hummingbird migrating up from Mexico, and he was, like, I used to summer in Arizona, but I heard about the anti-immigrant law and the boycott, so I’m checking out other options, and I said, “Did you fly over the oil spill from the BP rig in the gulf?” and he was, like, Yeah, it’s so huge it was hard to miss, and I said, “Michael Brown--formerly Brownie of FEMA--said Obama wants the oil to spread so he can justify ending offshore drilling,” and he was, like, The gulls in the gulf are laughing their tail feathers off over that one, and at Rush Limbaugh’s comment that eco-terrorists blew up the oil rig, but then gulls have a weird sense of humor, and I said, “Limbaugh also said the oil could be left in the ocean because oil’s as natural as water,” and the hummingbird was, like, E. coli’s natural, but that doesn’t mean you want it in the water, and I said,”Minerals are natural, but that doesn’t mean you want mercury in the water,” and the hummingbird was, like, Speaking of minerals, I just heard that the Minerals Management Service approved BP’s plan to build that rig without requiring a full environmental impact study, and I said, “They were the ones caught doing drugs and having sex with oil company reps during the Bush years,” and the hummingbird was, like, Maybe that’s what Sarah Palin meant by Drill, baby, drill, and I said, “How can the MMS do their job if they keep sleeping with the enemy, literally and figuratively?” and the hummer was, like, I heard that BP was in the running for an MMS safety award this year!, and I laughed and said, “I guess life’s a beach and then there’s an oil spill,” and the hummer was, like, You humans have a weird sense of humor, too, and I said, “I agree,” but by then he had ruffled his tiny feathers and buzzed away.']

Fashion Sense Wishes We Could Have a Happy Earth Day

On Earth Day it's hard not to be sad that the Belo Monte dam project will continue, despite many protesters and the intervention of Avatar director James Cameron. [Click on the image for a larger version. The text reads: 'Mimi, my neighbor who’s obsessed with Avatar, saw me just as I was getting into my car, and she said, “Are you on your way to see your rescued Premarin mare?” and I said I was, and she said, “Then I’ll come along because I want to see how much she reminds me of a Na’vi direhorse,” and after we got in the car she said, “Happy Earth Day,” and I said, “Not so happy, especially since the Belo Monte dam in Brazil is going to be built after all,” and she said, “It seemed like life was going to imitate art for a while, and Cameron and Sigourney were going to come to the rescue of the indigenous people, like in Avatar, but it just didn’t happen,” and I said, “There are still lots of protesters in Brazil, but they can’t seem to stop it,” and she said, “If life really imitated art, we would be able to go to the Amazon and see the rainforest and be Amazon avatars for real, and then we would learn to love Earth the way the Na’vi love Pandora,” and  I said, “Lula says he’s a friend of the rainforest and the indigenous people, but Brazil needs power, so they’re going ahead with the dam because progress takes energy,” and she said, “I guess we really need to find our own unobtanium,” and I said, “Or we need to stop using so much energy and be willing to give up our wasteful lifestyle,” and she looked at me like I was crazy and said, “I want to be an Amazon avatar, not a poor person!” and I said, “So you don’t love Earth the way the Na’vi love Pandora?” and she got mad and said, “Maybe you’d better take me back to my house. Avatar is coming out on DVD today, and I also want to look at 3-D TVs for when it comes out on 3-D Blu-Ray,” and when I finally got to see my mare I gave her an apple and said, “I think it’s strange that people who love Avatar because it’s about living in harmony with nature don’t want to have to change anything in order to live in harmony with nature,” and she just rolled her big brown eyes at me as if to say, “Duh!”']

Fashion Sense Thinks iPads are Nice but Dirty Energy Isn't

The iPad generated a lot of buzz last week from users and the tech community, including Stephen Colbert, who sliced and diced salsa with his. But Greenpeace reminded us that cloud computing uses lots of energy and contributes to global warming, and everybody who uses the internet should think about how to change that. [Click on the image for a larger version. The text reads: 'I had to take my gerbil to the vet’s and leave him overnight for some tests, and on my way home I ran into Tiffany, and she said, “I’m so excited because today I’m going to get my new iPad,” and I said, “The iPad looks  cool, but according to Greenpeace cloud computing creates lots of greenhouse gases and contributes a lot to global warming,” and she said, “I don’t believe in global warming,” and I said, “Well then your conscience is clear, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real,” and she said, “Stephen Colbert loves his iPad so much he chops vegetables with it, which must mean it’s pretty green,” and I said, “And he also hosted a science smackdown between a meteorologist and a climatologist about whether human activity causes global warming, so who knows what to think about him,” and she said, “Well, I love Stephen, and I follow him on Twitter and Facebook,” and I said, “Those are some of the sites in the cloud that are using too much energy,” and she said, “Not only do I not believe in global warming, I don’t even believe in cloud computing,” and I didn’t know what to say to that, and after I went home I listened to a report about Detroit and the poor fuel-efficiency of American cars, and then I fell asleep and had a dream that Apple invented a new kind of vehicle called an iFloat and people were floating all over the place in them, and they were making iFloats in Detroit which seemed very good for a while, and then it turned out that the iFloat wasn’t really energy-efficient at all and was hugely increasing global warming, but people were listening to their iPods and talking on their iPhones and looking at their iPads the whole time, so they didn’t notice, and I woke up when the vet’s office called and said, “You can come pick up your gerbil -- he’s fine, just showing some signs of age,” and as I was riding my bike over to get him, I was thinking about the fact that by 2020 web hosting alone will surpass the airline industry in carbon emissions, and iWorry.']