Fashion Sense Comments on the Town Hall Meetings on Healthcare Reform

Here at Fashion Sense we're wondering about all these hysterical people making threats and outrageous comments about healthcare reform. Is it Astroturfing? Right-wing populism? Will they succeed in preventing us from getting the reforms we so badly need? Talk about using your "second amendment rights" to shoot yourself in the foot! [Click on the image for a larger version of of this cartoon. The text reads: 'Last night I went to a town hall meeting about health care reform, and a woman in the audience said, "I heard that if we have Obama's healthcare plan, they'll give everybody on Medicare Dr. Kevorkian's number and insist we call him," and our congressperson said in a reasonable tone of voice that it wasn't true, and a man said, "I heard that if we have government-run healthcare disabled people like Stephen Hawking will die," and our congressperson reminded people that Hawking lives in England and that he himself recently said the National Health Service saved his life, and another woman said, "Sarah Palin said on Facebook that if we have healthcare reform we'll have death panels to decide the fate of people like her son and parents," and our congressperson said there's nothing in Obama's plan that would create death panels, and I couldn't stand it any more, and I said, "In her resignation speech Sarah Palin asked the media to 'quit making things up,' but why does SHE continue to make things up? And why do people believe what Palin and Rush Limbaugh are saying? What if they said there will be a new reality show where people compete for who gets a liver transplant or heart surgery, and one by one they'll be voted out until the lucky winner gets to live, like some horrible version of The Weakest Link? Would you believe that?” and the lady who asked the question about Dr. Kevorkian said, "I just love The Weakest Link, but I don’t trust Obama," and the guy who asked about Stephen Hawking said with real interest, "How would you try out for a show like that? I mean if it was run by Republicans?" and I thought nothing could be more absurd than that until today when I got a letter from my health insurance company telling me they were raising my premiums by $100.00/ month and they won't pay for the knee surgery I need; my gerbil thinks the letter is so full of bureaucratic doublespeak that William Shatner should read it like a beat poem like he did with parts of Sarah Palin’s speech because laughter is good medicine, and it’s the only free medicine we have available to us right now.']

Fashion Sense Asks if Big Love Deserves an Emmy or a Cancellation

Big Love got an Emmy nomination for best drama, and though I've only been able to tolerate watching it for a few minutes, I have a very strong opinion about it. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'Leda came over while the rabbit and I were doing aerobics, and she said, "Did you hear 30 Rock got 22 Emmy nominations?" and I stopped exercising and said, "Yeah, but unfortunately Big Love was nominated for best drama," and she said, "The show about the guy with three wives?" and I said, "That's the one," and she said, "I watched it for about five minutes and I couldn't stand to see those women competing over the same man and raising his kids within sight of each other," and I said, "The Mormon church outlawed polygamy but apparently lots of people in Utah and Arizona still live that way," and she said, "They seem to be able to have a lot of kids fast -- if that's the kind of thing you're into," and I said, "Rabbits aren't monogamous, which is probably why they're such legendary breeders," and we both looked at my rabbit, and he nodded his agreement, and Leda said, "But you would think humans would realize the earth is straining under the weight of nearly seven billion of us, so we don’t need to fixate on reproduction," and I said, "So are there any shows about women with more than one husband? And would that be better?" and she said, "I don’t know, but in that case the men would be the ones who would have to compete with each other for the wife's attention, rather than the reverse. There would probably be a lot of conflict," and I said, "I don’t think I’d like a show about that either," and Leda said, "I'm sure some politicians are fans of Big Love. I mean if we legalized polygamy in the U.S., guys like Mark Sanford wouldn't have to sneak to Argentina," and I said, "Yeah, I guess you're right; in a country as pro-marriage as this one, polygamy is the only way for these guys to get what they want," and she said, "What a thought," and she took out her phone, and I said, "Please don't Tweet about it -- you don't want to start a trend," and she said, "I'm not. I just wanted to make a movie of your rabbit doing aerobics," which she did and then posted it on YouTube, and my rabbit has hopes it will go viral because he wants to star in an all-rabbit version of Big Love.']

Fashion Sense Comments on the Death of Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson's death last week was a shock. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'When my cousin stopped by to borrow some of my CDs for her Fourth of July party, I was reading an article about Michael Jackson's funeral arrangements, and when she saw it she said, "That's disgusting," and I said, "Disgusting that I buy gossip magazines when I could read this stuff for free on the internet?" and she said, "No, disgusting that they're making such a fuss over Michael Jackson," and I said, "The rats always liked him because his first solo hit, Ben, was about a rat," and she said, "But he was a pedophile," and I said, "I don't think that was ever proven," and she said, "And he was a lunatic that kept changing his face, and he had the audacity to die owing $400 million," and I said, "He really was the King of Pop," and she said, "Now you sound just like everybody else," and I said, "You know that's not something I hear every day," and she said, "I don't understand how you can make excuses for somebody who lived a wildly extravagant lifestyle, which I know you don't approve of, and even kept a chimpanzee as a pet, which I also know you don't approve of. Name one good thing about him," and I said, "He was a historic figure who forced MTV to acknowledge African-American performers and he challenged stereotypes," and she said, "Well, I don't plan to borrow any of your Michael Jackson CDs for my party," and I said, "That's your loss. On the day Michael died, the rats and I listened to Thriller three times, and I taught them to moonwalk," and she said, "I think you like Michael Jackson because he was so strange he makes you seem normal by comparison," and I said, "I thought that was why everybody loves celebrities!"']

Fashion Sense Comments on Mad Mel

In announcing that he's going to divorce his wife and that his girlfriend is pregnant, Mel Gibson has shown himself to be a hypocrite. Previously, he's shown himself to be a bigot. Here at Fashion Sense we just couldn't resist commenting on Mad Mel. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'I'm under a lot of stress, so I'm doing yoga to try to relax, but my cat saw a picture of Mel Gibson and his pregnant girlfriend, and he was, like, Why is Mel Gibson divorcing his wife to be with Oksana? I thought he was supposed to be Catholic? and I said, "He claims to be," and the cat was, like, But I thought Catholics didn't believe in divorcing somebody you have seven kids with to be with somebody younger and hotter, and I said, "I guess Mel belongs to a very special Catholic group," and my cat was, like, So was the passion in The Passion of the Christ about the crucifixion or something else? and I said, "It's the passion of the Mel that's about something else," and the cat was, like, So now he's going to have eight kids? and I said, "Yeah, I guess he actually called himself the Octo-Mel on Leno last week," and the cat was, like, Look at this picture of his new girlfriend -- doesn’t she look a little like Nadya Suleman? and I said, "So what's your point?" and the cat was, like, It makes me wonder if the Octo-Mel craves the Octo-Mom , and I said, "I'm not crazy about Nadya, but she's less of a hypocrite than he is," and my cat was, like, Nor has she gone on any anti-Semitic rants while intoxicated, and I said, "That's another point in her favor. Just FYI, there's going to be a new musical called The Octo-Mom and an Octo-Mom reality show," and my cat was, like, The words reality and Octo-Mom don't seem to go together, and I said, "I guess we have to try to be tolerant of Nadya... and of Mel," and my cat was, like, Why? Mel isn't very tolerant, and I said, "Because tolerance is important, and besides Mel as Mad Max has shown us what the world could be like when we reach peak oil if people are cruel and intolerant," and my cat was, like, Now I'm the one that's feeling stressed. Do you know anything about yoga for cats? ']

Fashion Sense Says Lack of Health Insurance Not Oprah Is the Cause of Health Worries

Oprah is being criticized for her willingness to discuss alternative medicine, but the biggest threat to the health of citizens of the United States is our lack of decent health insurance coverage. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'My sister called me and the first thing she said was, "Did you hear that Newsweek has exposed Oprah's fraudulent healthcare advice?" and I said, "Yes, and I also heard that Forbes says Angelina Jolie is now the world's most powerful celebrity, but I don't believe everything I read," and she said, "If people get more cautious about alternative medicine, it could have a bad effect on your leech therapy business," and I said, "As it turns out, I've decided to give up my leech therapy business and do some part-time petsitting instead," and she said, "But you have to care about the fact that people do what Oprah tells them to do, and these untested natural treatments can have bad side effects," and I said, "That's one part truth to a million parts propaganda," and she said, "That sounds like a toxic homeopathic remedy," and I said, "People certainly have to exercise caution, but the real cause of health care problems in the U.S. is lack of a real health care system," and she said, "But aren't you disturbed by what Oprah is doing?" and I said, "I found Suzanne Somers' description of injecting hormones into her lady parts far more disturbing," and my sister thought for a minute and said, "I guess I'll have to agree with you on that one."']

Fashion Sense Says It's Illogical to Rave Over the New Star Trek

Here at Fashion Sense, we've seen the new Star Trek movie and honestly don't understand all the rave reviews. We still prefer Star Trek IV (Save the Whales!). [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'When Penny came over to my house last night she said, "Where's your monkey?" and I said, "Peanut wasn't very happy with me, so I let him go live in a primate sanctuary," and she said, "You must be really lonely without any animals around," and I said, "I adopted a couple of whales through a wildlife conservation group. There's a picture of my humpback’s tail," and she said, "Too bad he can't live here," and I said, "He could if Scotty would make him a transparent aluminum aquarium like in Star Trek IV," and she said, "Speaking of Star Trek, did you see the new movie?" and I said, "I was very disappointed. Star Trek is supposed to be full of meaningful if obvious references to real-life problems, and now it's just another action-adventure franchise," and she said, "You know, there weren't many carry-overs from the old movies or TV shows, though they did manage to include a green Orion animal woman in a bikini," and I said, "At least the original sexism survived," and she said, "And they killed off most of the Vulcans so Spock could announce he was a member of an endangered species," and I said, "Whereas in Star Trek IV Spock was trying to help an endangered species, namely humpback whales, " and she said, "Well, the new movie was a huge hit, so I suppose it's nice to see an old favorite like Star Trek live long and prosper," and I said, "I find your attitude most illogical."']

Fashion Sense Says Michael Savage's Ideas About Immigrants are Unhealthy

The world is still waiting to see how bad the swine flu outbreak will get. Although everyone's concerned about staying healthy, some people, like shock jock Michael Savage, are using this crisis to spread unhealthy ideas. Also, this flu outbreak is a good reason to take a critical look at factory farms. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'When I was on my way to visit my rescued Premarin mare this morning, my right-wing neighbor waved at me as though she had some kind of emergency, so I stopped to see what she wanted, and she said, "Hey! Are any Mexicans on that farm where you keep your horse?" and I asked why, and she said, "Michael Savage says you shouldn't get anywhere near Mexicans or anybody who's been anywhere near Mexicans, because you'll get sick," and I said, "From what I've read, Michael Savage is the one who's sick. Experts say this swine flu originated in the United States," and she said, "We're not supposed to call it swine flu. That's bad for the pork industry. Which reminds me that I'm also angry at the Mexicans for putting that virus into pigs because now I can't eat pork chops or ham, which are my favorites, and later on they'll be more expensive," and I said, "We're not supposed to call it swine flu because agribusiness has so much power they can sue us for defamation when we tell the truth about them. Remember what happened to Oprah when she tried to talk about beef?" and she said, "So are there any Mexicans on that farm?" and I said, "I don't think it's funny to talk about the Aporkalypse, but I also don't think it's the Mexicans that are responsible for this Snoutbreak," and she said, "Well, here's more proof for you: I got one of those e-mail messages telling me that Salma Hayek has swine flu, and I thought, 'She's Mexican, so it's got to be true,' and when I opened the email I got a virus on my computer which proves that Mexicans give you viruses," and I said, "That's some very twisted logic!" and she said, "Thanks. I’ve done a lot of thinking about this thing."']

Fashion Sense Comments on Mad Tea Parties

Huffington Post called them faux populism; Paul Krugman described them as astroturf events; Fashion Sense thinks it's sad that the mad tea parties wasted so much tea and got more media attention than Earth Day events. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'On Earth Day the dog and I went to the Save the Planet rally organized by our environmental group L.O.V.E., and afterward Marissa invited us to her house for tea, and she made a big pot of organic green, and then she said, "I'm drinking a lot of tea these days as a protest against those tax revolt teabaggers because they're not a real movement no matter what Fox News says," and I said, "Paul Krugman called those tea parties astroturf events -- as in fake grassroots," and she said, "A grassroots group like ours has to work hard to get any publicity, whereas those tea protestors just let Fox News do it for them," and I said, "What difference does it make? No matter what they do at their mad tea parties, it'll always be the 'Obama is the Antichrist' t-shirts that we'll remember them by," and she said, "And all the tea they wasted!" and I said, "I doubt if any of it was organic. Tonight after dinner the dog and I will watch the news to see how they cover the rally. We don't usually get much of a mention unless the anarchists show up and make some trouble, or a Hollywood star puts in a cameo," and she said, "Well, that’s at least one consolation: The environmental movement always gets lots of great celebrities, but all the teabaggers could come up with was Ted Nugent and Glenn Beck."']

Fashion Sense Comments on Obama's Visit to Prague

Fashion Sense is still in Prague, and President Obama was here last weekend. He made a historic speech about the necessity of eliminating nuclear weapons, which was well received. However, the proposed U.S. radar installation is still under consideration here, despite the fact that most Czechs oppose it. In the meantime, Prime Minister Topolanek, who recently called Obama's economic policies the road to hell, was forced to resign. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'It’s a nice spring morning, so I’m out birding, and I heard beautiful and unfamiliar birdsong, so when I came over to get a better look at the singer, he was, like, "You're right, I'm a song thrush, and I don't belong here," and I said, "You're a European bird, right? Were you blown off course during spring migration?" and he was, like, "Not exactly. I usually winter in Italy and summer in a town named Brdy near Prague, but the U.S. is planning a radar installation there, so I don't want to live there any more," and I said, "On television I saw that our president was in Prague a few days ago, and people there seemed really enthusiastic about him," and the thrush was, like, They do like Obama, but just about all the people and other creatures there are opposed to the radar except Topolanek -- the Prime Minister, and I said, "Isn't he the guy that called Obama's stimulus plan the road to hell?" and the thrush was, like, Most Czechs know the real road to hell is paved with weapons of war, and I said, "Obama said in his speech that he wants to eliminate nuclear weapons," and the thrush was, like, Good. That would make a nice roadblock on the road to hell, and I said, "Speaking of which, does Topolanek always use such rude language?" and the thrush was, like, He's usually pretty dull, but he said he picked up the phrase when AC/DC sang 'Highway to Hell' in Prague, and I said, "I don't know that song. I'm not a fan," and the thrush was, like, Neither am I, but Topolanek's government got a recent no confidence vote, and he was forced to resign, so I'd say right now he's on the Road to Nowhere, and I said, "I AM a Talking Heads fan, and you're very good at these pop culture references," and the thrush was, like, Well, I AM a song thrush after all, and I said, "So are you planning to try out for American Idol?" and the thrush was, like, No, thanks. The auditions, the mean judges, the fickle audiences: that really does sound like the road to hell.']

An Organic Garden at the White House

There have been so many stories about Michelle Obama's preference for fresh organic foods that we just have to comment (meanwhile, Prague readies itself for a visit from President Obama next weekend). It was nice to read that Ms. Obama helped serve wholesome food in a soup kitchen and that she helped to plant an organic garden at the White House. But right wing commentators have criticized her elitism, showing themselves to be hopelessly muddled hypocrites. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'I'm looking for a job again, so when I ran into Madison, who has a lot of contacts, I offered to buy her a cup of coffee, and as soon as we sat down, she said, "That outfit is so Michelle; you seem to be quite a follower of the First Lady," and I didn't want to argue so I said, "It's just something I got from that new thrift shop, Trash and Treasure," and she said, "Speaking of trash, did you hear what Tammy Bruce said when she was guest hosting Laura Ingraham's show," and I said, "I believe she called the Obamas trash, which I think was very vulgar," and she said, "Michelle is a poser," and I said, "If she's posing as First Lady, she's doing a good job of it; she's a fashion icon like Jackie Kennedy, and she just started a White House garden like Eleanor Roosevelt did, but the Obamas' garden will be organic," and she said, "Only an elitist loves expensive clothes and trendy foods," and I said, "Just a few weeks ago she helped a soup kitchen that serves organic food to needy people. So how’s that elitist?" and she said, "I remember that she served broccoli," and she said broccoli as though it was something obscene, "but poor people can't afford to eat organic food," and I said, "My tortoise and I eat only organic produce, and this year we're going to grow our own organic garden, so how cheap is that?" and she said, "George Herbert Walker Bush hated broccoli, and so do I," and I said, "Here's a little factoid for you: W's wife Laura insisted on serving fresh, organic produce at the White House, but she didn't let anybody know," and she said, "That's real class for you. Laura knew it would be elitist to let other people know," and I said, "Maybe I shouldn't tell you that you're drinking organic fair trade coffee," and she quickly got up to leave, saying, "I can't be seen doing something so elitist. Also, I don’t want to be seen in a neighborhood full of unemployed losers that have defaulted on their mortgages."']

Fashion Sense Comments on the Czech President, a Global Warming Skeptic

Fashion Sense has been in Prague for a week, and Czech President Vaclav Klaus has been in New York for a conference of global warming skeptics. I'll be in Prague for a few more months, commenting on whatever catches my attention, including whatever else Klaus gets up to. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'My not-so-favorite cousin Amber just got back from her week in Prague, and I asked her how she liked it, and she said, "I didn't. The dollar is weak, so it was too expensive to rent a car, and we had to use the subway, and there aren't very many Burger Kings, which you know is my favorite, and waiters and shop clerks don't smile at you much," and I didn't think that sounded too bad, so I said, "Did you like anything about it?" and she said, "Well, I love their President, Vaclav Klaus, but he was in New York while I was in Prague because he was speaking at a conference for people who believe global warming is a hoax, which is what I believe, and he says it's just an excuse to steal our freedom," and I said, "But what about rising sea levels?" and she said, "He says the problem is very overstated," and I said, "The Czech Republic is landlocked, so it might not matter to him, but what about the rest of the world?" and she said, "He says we don’t need to worry, and I believe him. I really think he’s a hero, the kind of man who stands alone and refuses to give in, just like that Czech preacher Jan Hus," and then she looked completely enraptured at the idea of Klaus as a martyr to his ideals, and she said, "Hus was burned at the stake, you know, rather than give in to the Church," and I was starting to get annoyed so I said, "I believe that the stakes are high, and we’re going to be burned by global warming if we don’t change our way of life," and she got annoyed too and said, “It would be very inconvenient if that was the truth, but luckily it’s not,” and then to be conciliatory I said, “Some people think wordplay is the lowest form of humor, but I like it,” and she said, “Then you’ll be glad to hear I didn’t get you that amber necklace you wanted, but bought this Czech Me Out t-shirt instead,” and the fish have been laughing their bubbly fishy laugh at it ever since.']

Fashion Sense Comments Belatedly on the Oscars

Fashion Sense adds a belated comment on the Academy Awards because we especially liked Sean Penn's acceptance speech and his concern about the civil and human rights of gay people. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'I was working on my abs again, and my cat wanted to talk about the Academy Awards, and I wasn't really paying much attention, but I thought I heard him say something about milk, and I said, "You know I'm trying to be vegan, but I'll get you some milk if you want it," and the cat was, like, I'm talking about Sean Penn getting best actor for Milk. I thought it was great when he called the Academy "commie, homo-loving sons of guns," and I said, "And it was great that he spoke out in support of gay marriage," and my cat was, like, So what's all the fuss about gay marriage? From what I hear marriage can be very dull and depressing, so I'd think people would be grateful when marriage is gay, and I said, “Since Proposition 8 passed, there are 18,000 gay couples who don’t know whether they’re married or not. I think it’s wrong to punish somebody for wanting to make a commitment,” and my cat was, like, I’m sure that’s what Guy Richie will be saying to the next guy Madonna wants to marry.']

Fashion Sense Denounces New York Post Chimpanzee Cartoon

Here at Fashion Sense, we love social justice, animals, and cartoons, so you can imagine how much we hated that New York Post cartoon about the dead chimpanzee -- and its implications. We also have a suggestion for anyone who wants to own a chimpanzee: become a Chimp Guardian at the Jane Goodall Institute instead. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'Yesterday I had a bad flu, so I stayed home from work, and when I turned on CNN Al Sharpton was talking about a cartoon in the New York Post, and then they showed the cartoon which featured a dead chimpanzee, two police officers with guns, and the caption was about the need to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill; and right then Monique called from work, and she wanted to know where I put the post-it notes, and I told her for the twentieth time, and she said, "I know you're sick, but have you heard about that NY Post monkey cartoon?" and I said that I had, and she said “And of course Al Sharpton is already going on about it,” and I said I’d just seen him on CNN, and she said, "Well, I know you love monkeys, so I figured you'd be appalled by this thing," and I said, "I am," and she said, "Al Sharpton is so overly-sensitive about supposed racial slurs, and so insensitive about the death of a beloved pet," and I said, "The cartoon is insensitive about racist slurs, and I'm appalled that the Post would print such a thing," and she said, "But I thought you would be sympathetic to that poor chimpanzee owner," and I said, "I took my monkey to a primate shelter months ago because he wasn't happy with me, and that's what the chimpanzee owner should have done. Monkeys and apes are wild animals, not pets," and she said, "I believe in freedom of speech and freedom of ownership,” and I said, "I believe in freedom from defamation for African-Americans and in freedom from captivity for wild animals," and she said, "What's a person who loves chimps supposed to do?" and I said, "Adopt one through a wildlife conservation group," and she said, "Now you're just being a hypocrite. I remember how you criticized poor Siegfried and Roy when they adopted all those new tiger cubs," and then I started sneezing uncontrollably and she hung up before I could explain.']

Fashion Sense Says PETA's Super Bowl Commercial Would Have Been the Best

There's always a lot of buzz about the commercials shown during the Super Bowl, but the sexy PETA veggie love commercial probably would have gotten a lot of attention -- if NBC would have been willing to air it. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'Last week my cute neighbor invited me to his Super Bowl party, but when he told me he was going to have hot wings and other meat-based snacks, I said, "Thanks but no thanks. I don't want to watch football with a bunch of carnivores," and he got mad and walked away without another word, so when I ran into him the day after the game I said, "Did you hear PETA tried to get NBC to run a commercial about vegetarianism during the Super Bowl, but it was too sexy," and he said, "Sexy how?" and I said, "It showed some women wearing lingerie who were licking pumpkins and rubbing themselves with asparagus," and he said, "That's ridiculous," and I said, "The ad claimed vegetarians have better sex," and he said, "That's absurd," and then my rabbit reminded him that rabbits, who are vegetarians, are famous for their frequent and energetic sex, and my neighbor said, "That rabbit should be in a Super Bowl commercial next year -- this year all they had was 3D lizards and Clydesdale horses," and then he asked me if I wanted to go out with him, and I said, "I never go out with carnivores," and he said, "But I can't give up meat. I love to play football and have to keep in shape," and I said, "I heard that Tony Gonzalez is trying to be a vegan," and he said, "Tony Gonzalez? From the Kansas City Chiefs?" and I said, "The very same," and he said, "I love the Chiefs," and I said, "I know," and he said he'd think it over, and I said, "If you go veg, I'll make vegan snacks for your Super Bowl party next year," and he said, "And I'll make sure you get some very nice asparagus," which the rabbit and I later agreed was a tempting offer any way you interpret it.']

Fashion Sense Comments on Depression Chic and Other Trends

According to those in the know, one of the big new trends for Spring 2009 is Depression Chic, which has its good points (people are interested in The Grapes of Wrath) and bad points (they'll sell anything, won't they?). Another big trend is supposed to be python skin accessories, and that has no good points because of the cruelty involved. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: Liv and I went shopping together, and we saw this fringed flapper dress, and I said, "That's a fun dress, but do you think it's going to be in style for long?" and she said, "In New York people are throwing Depression parties and partying like it's 1929, and designers like Aquilano.Rimondi are inspired by what was big around the time of the crash, so yes, I think fringed flapper dresses will be in as long as we're threatened with economic collapse, which is going to be for, like, ages," and I decided to buy the dress, and then we looked at accessories for a while, and she said, "Python is also very, very big right now. Why don't you buy a pair of python shoes and a clutch bag to go with the dress?" and I said, "I can't buy reptile skin! Whatever would my tortoise say?" and she said, "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping and continue to be trendsetters, so I don’t want to hear any excuses ," and I said, "Do you know how those pythons died? They were skinned alive!" and she just smirked at me and bought a big python bag, so I went right home, and then I realized I’d spent too much on the dress, but before I took it back , I decided to try it on so my tortoise could see it, and he clearly disapproves, because though the economic slowdown is something he feels he can live with, the idea of depression chic makes him very depressed.']

Fashion Sense Comments on the Golden Globe Awards

At last Sunday's Golden Globe Awards there was a focus on films that celebrated optimism and second chances, and Slumdog Millionaire won four awards. Fashion Sense tends toward the cynical and wonders if all this optimism makes sense. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'The rats and I watched the Golden Globe Awards last night, and today we had to go see my sister Chloe, who is very star-struck, and the first thing she said was, "Weren't the Golden Globes a thousand times better than last year?" and I said, "Last year they couldn't really do an awards show because the striking writers threatened to picket it," and Chloe said, "Which was very depressing, but this year the awards were all about second chances and happy endings. Mickey Rourke got best actor, even though his career was dead for more than ten years, and Heath Ledger got best supporting actor, even though HE's been dead for nearly a year," and I said, "I was disappointed that Frost/Nixon didn't win a single award," and Chloe said, "Because it was about the past and pessimism and negativity. Whereas Slumdog Millionaire won best drama because it's about hope and optimism and the future," and I said, "Steven Spielberg won a big award, but I heard one of his charities lost a lot of money in Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme; maybe he should make a movie called Scumbag Millionaire to show what the future can be like when you believe in guys like Madoff," and Chloe said, "Don't be so negative,” and I said, “It's hard to be positive in hard times," and Chloe said, "Sally Hawkins won best actress for playing an eternal optimist in Happy-Go-Lucky," and I said, "WALL-EE got best animated film, and it was pretty depressing," and Chloe said, "But it did have a sort of pessimistic optimistic ending," and then suddenly she looked very downhearted, and she said, "But there were some REAL unhappy endings: Glenn Close ended up on the worst-dressed list; Leonardo DiCaprio didn't get a single award. You know I've loved him since Titanic," and before Chloe could start talking about the time she met Leo, I said, "Speaking of Titanic, the rats and I have to go. Just keep your chin up, and try to remember that optimism is the new pessimism."']

Fashion Sense Says Goodbye to President Bush

At a screening of the movie Frost/Nixon, Chris Wallace criticized other panel members for comparing Richard Nixon's impeachable offenses to George W. Bush's actions in the war on terror. He said, "Whatever George W. Bush did was after 9/11. . . and in service of trying to protect this country," yet Bush's record is so egregious, Fashion Sense wonders who can really believe this. According to a recently compiled list of Bushisms, on Aug. 5, 2004, at the signing ceremony for a defense spending bill, our soon-to-be ex-President said the following: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." Truer words were never misspoken. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'I was out birding on New Years Day, and a hawk flew over to me and was, like, Are you by any chance a vegetarian? and I said that I was, and the hawk was, like, You know I'm getting really tired of chasing after screeching birds and pouncing on terrified rodents, and I'm thinking about making a New Years resolution to go vegetarian, and I said, "That's a nice thought, but I think that, unlike humans, hawks have to be carnivores," and the hawk was, like, Speaking of humans, I hate it that somebody who supports a senseless war is called a hawk, and somebody who opposes it is called a dove; I'm a peace-loving bird, and I said, "I admit I’ve called George W. Bush a hawk plenty of times, and I hope someday he'll be punished for his war crimes," and the hawk was, like, I heard that Chris Wallace went ballistic at a screening of the new Frost/Nixon movie when Ron Howard compared Bush's conduct in the Iraq war to Richard Nixon's crimes, and I said, "Yeah. Wallace said Nixon did what he did for personal gain, and Bush did what he did for the good of the country, but I don't think even Bush believes that. I just read a list of so-called Bushisms, and he best summed up his own term in office when he said: 'Our enemies … never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we,'" and the hawk was, like, How ironic! and then suddenly he was, like, Tasty dove! Gotta go! and a hawk's instincts being what they are, he flew off at lightning speed, so I yelled, "I guess you can't help being a hawk, but what's Bush's excuse?"']