Fashion Sense Comments on the Return of Gordon Gekko

There's going to be a sequel to Wall Street. Will Gordon Gekko still think "Greed is good?" [Click on the above image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'My cousin Tiffany called and asked if I wanted to come to her Coalition of Women in Business luncheon, and I said, "Thanks but I don't have a business," and she said, "Well, the speaker is going to talk about the credit crunch and explain why the government is nationalizing the banks. I remembered that you're a socialist, so I thought you might be interested," and I said, "What makes you think I'm a socialist?" and she said, "You were such a radical back in the 80s," and I said, "I was a Vegetarian Skateboarder for Social Responsibility. And I did have friends that were socialists," and she said, "I remember when we saw 'Wall Street,' and you went on and on about how much you despised Gordon Gekko," and I said, "First of all, I don't like Michael Douglas. And secondly, I think you're supposed to dislike a character who says, 'Greed is good,'" and she said, "And you called the Wall Street brokers a bunch of dirty rats," and I said, "I doubt that I called them dirty rats, Tiff. You know I keep rats as pets," and she said, "Ugh. Please don't bring your rats to the luncheon. Maybe you called the brokers fat cats. Anyway you used to be pretty radical," and I said, "I heard they're going to make a sequel to Wall Street and continue Gordon Gekko's story in the current financial crisis," and she said, "OK, but do you want to go to the luncheon or not?" and I said, "Do they have a vegetarian option?" and she said, "I'm sure you can get a salad," and I said, "OK. I'll come. After all, Gordon Gekko said 'Lunch is for wimps,'" and she said, "Honestly, I think you're even more baffling than the economy is."']

Fashion Sense Tries to Make Sense of Sarah Palin Again

This is the third time Fashion Sense has commented on Sarah Palin, this time using Matt Damon's comment that a Palin presidency would be like a bad and terrifying Disney movie. [Click on the above image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'I took Peanut to a primate rescue center because he really wasn’t very happy, and I rented a couple old Disney movies to make myself feel better, and I invited Ceci to come over and watch them with me, and she brought us some organic popcorn, and we enjoyed the show, and after the movies were over, we watched a little of the news, and Ceci said, "Remember when Matt Damon said the terrifying possibility of Sarah Palin becoming president is like a bad Disney movie called The Hockey Mom? " and I said, "Yeah, but I think Palin's whole life is like a bunch of different Disney movies -- she's always smiling like Pollyanna, but she's less truthful than Pinnochio," and she said, "I just read that she's distantly related to Princess Diana and she's definitely been raised suddenly and unexpectedly above her station in life, so we can throw in The Princess Diaries," and I said, "And she's as callous toward wild animals as the cruel hunter that killed Bambi's mother," and Ceci said, "Should we mention Dumbo?" and I said, "Better not. She'd only hunt him down," and she said, "What about Dinosaurs?" and I said, "No. That movie offended fundamentalists who don't accept the theory of evolution. Palin thinks they should teach creationism in the schools," and she said, “And Palin’s attitude toward the environment, if she became president, would lead us to the devastated future Earth depicted in WALL-E. I mean, wouldn't it?" and I said, "You betcha," but I wasn't smiling or winking when I said it.']

Fashion Sense Empathizes with Victims of the Housing Crisis

Fashion Sense says Main Street (i.e., where people are in danger of losing their homes to foreclosure) deserves to be bailed out more than Wall Street does. However, now is the time to consider other options besides home ownership -- even for Ed McMahon. [You can see an animated version of this cartoon on Alice's website. Click on the above image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'I was at the pond today borrowing leeches for my leech therapy business, and then when I was on my way to get some cash, my sister the realtor called, and she said, "I have a great deal for you," and I said, "I don't want to buy a house," and she said, "It's perfect for a trendy person like you," and I said, "You mean you're desperate to unload it," and she said, "Donald Trump says now is a great time to buy a house," and I said, "I work at a cruelty-free body-care store, and I have a part-time leech therapy business. I'm not ready to buy a house," and she said, "It's the American dream," and I said, "I don't want the responsibility or the extra work," and she said, "Don't you want to be respectable?" and I said, "Respectable like Ed McMahon, willing to rap for FreeCreditReport.com after he lost his house?" and she said, "Do you really want to be a loser in an apartment all your life?" and I said, "During the housing bubble developers destroyed farmland and wildland so people could invest in second and third homes; even if I could get a loan, I don't want any part of that," and she said, "Leeches are disgusting," and I said, "The real leeches are on Wall Street," and she said, "Can I borrow $100?" and I said, "I can even let you have it at sub-prime rates," and she said, "I don't think that's very funny," but she's going to come over to my place tonight to get a loan and a free leech therapy treatment.']

Fashion Sense Thinks Bush is a Better Illusionist Than Blaine

David Blaine's dive of death wasn't considered to be a great success. Now the Bush administration is trying to keep its credibility among Republicans while bailing out Wall Street. If they succeed, it will be one of the greatest illusions of all time. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'Leda's father was at her place watching financial news on her plasma screen TV, and he was going ballistic about the stock market, so she came over to my place, and we watched re-runs of David Blaine hanging upside down for sixty hours and making his supposed dive of death, and Leda said, "Actually, that was pretty lame," and I said, "A lot of stuff he does is pretty lame, but Houdini showed that taking senseless risks can sometimes be spectacular," and Leda said, "But Blaine didn't even stay upside down the whole time; he took breaks," and I said, "It would have been too risky to be upside-down the whole time -- it could have made his head explode or something," and she said, "Now that would have been spectacular," and I said, "The rabbit and I like him because he doesn’t use any animals in his act, and also I think he’s trying to tell us something," and Leda said, "What?" and I said, "He was hanging upside down over New York while the government figured out how to bail out Wall Street, and he didn’t do a very good job of it. Maybe he wants us to know that big finance is the greatest escape artist, and the government is the real illusionist, as they try to make a multi-billion dollar bailout at taxpayers expense seem reasonable," and she said, "So Blaine represents the little guy who has to manage his own risks, while the Bush administration doles out corporate welfare and turns everything they’ve ever said about the free market upside down," and I said, "It’s enough to make your head explode," and she said, "I think I better go check on my dad," and after she left, the rabbit and I tried to do a little levitation act, which is our way of saying we'll have to hang tough until we see how the latest Wall Street illusion works out.']

Voting for Sarah Palin Doesn't Make Sense at Fashion Sense

Some women are impressed by Sarah Palin's fashion sense and claim they will vote for her because she is a woman, but that doesn't make sense to Fashion Sense. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'Michelle Obama made People Magazine's best-dressed list, and I really like her crisp, classic look, so I tried to dress like that when I went to meet Tea for lunch, and when I got there I was surprised to see Tea in rimless glasses, open-toed shoes and upswept hair, and I said, "What's with the Sarah Palin look?" and she snapped back, "What's in your bag? Some Michelle Obama terrorist accessories?" and I said, "Let's just have a nice lunch and not get too unpleasant in this election season," and she said, "I'm sorry. I'm not even a Republican, and I don't know what came over me. But as soon as I put on this outfit, I got all self-righteous and developed an enormous appetite for fresh-killed game," and she ordered rare venison, and I had a salad and sneaked a little of it to my tortoise who was the real reason I was carrying such a big bag, and then Tea said, "Is that arugula? You are such an elitist," and then she took out her make-up bag and started doing her lips, and she whispered, "What does it really mean? Lipstick on a pig? Is that some Islamic curse?"']

Sarah Palin's Choices Don't Make Sense at Fashion Sense

Though Fashion Sense usually comments on celebrity antics, I think that the extensive tabloid coverage of Sarah Palin's family life qualifies her as a temporary celebrity. Her positions on family planning and wilderness protection are particularly troubling. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'My neighbor was coming out of her house when I was on my way to visit my rescued Premarin mare, and before I could pretend I didn't see her, she shouted, "Hey! Did you hear the Republicans have a woman VP?" and I said, "I couldn't help but hear about it. Sarah Palin is all over the grocery store tabloids, like any other celebrity," and she said, "Isn't it great to have a woman running for such a high office?" and I didn't say anything, so she said, "She's a real woman, just like you and me," and I said, "Well, she isn't much like me because I don't like hunting," and she said, "It's a free country, and you don't have to hunt if you don't want to," and I said, "And I don't like fishing," and and she started to get that combative gleam in her eye, and she said, "Like I said, it's a free country, and you don't have to fish if you don't want to," and I said, "And I don't like guns," and she said, "And you don't have to have a gun if you don't want to," and I said, "And I don't want to have any kids," and she looked like she was running out of patience, and she said, "Well, you don't even have a boyfriend, do you? You don't have to have any kids if you don't want to," and I said, "My mare was forced to bear foal after foal so that she would continue to pee out hormones the drug companies needed, and I sympathize with any female forced to be pregnant," and my neighbor said, "You like to make everything unpleasant and complicated, don't you?" and I said, "Unwanted pregnancy is unpleasant and complicated, and according to what I've read, Sarah Palin is even against birth control pills," and my neighbor said, "I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you gave your horse birth control pills," and she stormed away before I could ask her if, in this free country, I would have to have drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge if I didn't want to. ']

Vicky Cristina Barcelona; Gustav Katrina New Orleans

In the wake of hurricane Gustav, I had a few thoughts on Javier Bardem's aversion to cars and on Trouble the Water, a film about Katrina and New Orleans. [Click on the image for a larger version of this cartoon. The text reads: 'Rosa called and asked if I wanted to see a movie, and I said, "Which one?" and she said, "How about Vicky Cristina Barcelona?" and I said, "I heard it has tons of beautiful footage of the city," and she said, "And tons of beautiful footage of Javier Bardem," and I said, "I read in Time that he doesn't like to drive and calls cars speeding bullets," and Rosa said, "Speaking of cars, when are you going to get one?" and I said, "I’m not. My bike is good enough for me," and she said, "But what if you had to take your injured child to the ER?" and I didn't bother to remind her that I don't have any kids, and I said, "If my gerbil had a midnight emergency, I’d put him in a carrier and call a cab," and then I said, "I want to see Trouble the Water, too -- it’s about Katrina and New Orleans," and she said, "I just heard an interview with Danny Glover, who produced it; he said the reason all those poor people couldn't evacuate was because they didn't have cars, which is another good argument for owning one," and I said, "Or a good argument for decent public transit. And what’s really indecent is that a lot of them still haven’t made it back home again, especially the ones who are African American," and she said, "Hurricane Gustav wasn’t too bad, but they made everybody leave the city just in case; maybe someday we’ll all be evacuated from here for some reason, and then what will you do?" and I wanted to change the subject, so I said, "So which movie do you want to see? Vicky Cristina Barcelona or Gustav Katrina New Orleans?" and Rosa said, "Trouble the Water is too depressing. Let's see the Woody Allen. I'll pick you up at 7:30," and I said, "No, thanks. I'll ride my bike. I need the exercise," which seems to be the one reason for traveling by bike that car addicts don’t try to argue with.']